Archive for the ‘tbwsrn’ Category

I Heart a Good Meal



Soooo, I was in DC over the long weekend, and I JUST HAVE to tell you about this great place we ate at in the Capitol Hill neighborhood.

But, first.

Remember this guy?


If you were/are a Top Chef fan, then you are well-acquainted with Spike.

Hi, Spike.

Spike is the creator/owner of Good Stuff Eatery, a burger joint with a bit of a gourmet twist.


Let’s be real here: Spike drove me nuts during the show. But, you see, the thing is that I LOVE famous people so I was on-board with the suggestion of Good Stuff Eatery for lunch.

I was expecting Spike’s nummy little creations, but didn’t think HE’D actually be there.

He was.

I made SURE that I was in his line of vision at least once.

He’s, like, a mini-celeb, but I still swooned in adoration. Famous People in Real Life are number 4 on my list of Top Five Favorite Things in the Universe.

1. Ice Cream

2. Boyfriend

3. Dog

4. Famous People in Real Life

5. Sleep

Anyway, SOMEBODY (Cough, #2, Cough) wouldn’t let me snap an inconspicuous picture because said someone didn’t want to be EMBARRASSED.

So selfish.

Famous Person aside, the food was just as tasty as one would imagine it to be whilst watching Top Chef. I lunched on a Farmhouse Bacon Cheeseburger, had a french fry party with the Village fries dipped in mango, chipotle, old bay, and Sriracha mayos one-at-a-time and…

devoured a TOASTED MARSHMALLOW milkshake.

It was so good that it makes me want to talk in that LOL Catspeak business that is rampant on all the blogs today.


There. Done.

Anyway, it was a gratifying meal and a charming little weekend.


The End.

PS: They also serve an Obama burger.



You know what I think is a bad idea?


Hot dentists.

It took me years Рliterally, years Рto get the courage up to go back to the dentist after too much berating by my former DDS (read: Degrading DentistS) who would NEVER believe me when I innocently insisted that I had GIVEN UP POP so there really was no need to tell me that I drink too much of it.  (I was being honest!) They would give me a smug nod and then proceed to floss me in a passive-aggressive fashion.

Lousy, stinkin’ bastards. They only fueled the fire of my dentist conspiracy theory which we can discuss at a later time.

(On the first date between TBWSRN and I – he told me that he, too, has a dentist conspiracy theory. That’s how you know it’s real, folks.)

I digress.

I finally decided to head back because my lower right molar felt like the side was peeling off like a splintered popsicle stick and I said to myself, “I kind of LIKE my teeth. Perhaps I should take care of this.”

So, I picked the first dentist’s office I could Google that was located in Minneapolis and I totally hit the jackpot. Our first meeting was just to sit and “get to know each other” because they suspected I might feel apprehensive about the initial appointment.

Due to the five years of missing dentist records.

Smart people.

Get this: they even have TVs on the ceiling.

YES. I enjoy watching The View while getting my teeth cleaned. Though my come-backs to Hasselbeck don’t make as much sense when the little mirror is shoved in my mouth.

The point of this is that last week I received an e-mail that told me that all I needed to do was click the “Make an appointment!” button and someone would contact me to set up a cleaning.

But I can’t get myself to click it.

Why? Because of the hot dentist!

The dentist who did the regular old cleaning last time was SUPER SEXY.

My teeth? NOT super sexy.

It was embarrassing.

I don’t know if I can, in good conscience, face that again.

My Proustian Interview


I’m copying a friend. Thank you, friend.

If I were on Inside the Actor’s Studio with Mr. Lipton…

The Venerable James Lipton

The Venerable James Lipton

What is your favorite word? besos. As in “besosbesosbesooossss” with a swirling hand motion. Try it.
What is your least favorite word? calm down
What turns you on creatively, spiritually, emotionally? new music (creatively), church music (spiritually – nothing gets me like a good “On Eagle’s Wings”), and Tori Amos/Regina Spektor music (emotionally)
What turns you off? formatting on Microsoft Word
What sound do you love? the sound of TBWSRN’s ring on my cellphone
What sound do you hate? Sarah Palin’s voice
What is your favorite curse word? god-DAMMIT-all-to-hell
What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? fancy editor working out of my fancy loft in fancy New York City
What profession would you not like to do? special education teacher
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
I’d like him to give me the choice to stay or go.

Aesop’s Newest Fable: The Battery That Was Quite Expensive


I was just about to go to bed when…

I hear the remote fall off the couch, knocked off by my aforementioned puppy friend.

Remote falling = batteries falling out of remote which has no back = puppy friend eating batteries

So, puppy friend trots up to me with half of a AAA Energizer sticking out of her mouth (ironic, since it seems puppy friend is also run by a AAA Energizer).

Haha. So humorous at 12:30 in the AM, puppy friend.

She performs her latest trick by dropping the battery on command. I give myself an actual pat on the back for being such a responsible dog owner.

But…where is the other battery? It takes two to make a dream come true, baby. Or to make the remote turn on the DVD player. Whatever.

I look under the couch cushions, on the floor, perhaps it rolled under the bathroom door?

It is nowhere.

I turn my attention to Iris and, with desperation, say aloud, “Did you EAT the battery, Iris?”

I call TBWSRN in the Eastern Time Zone because that’s what I do when I don’t know what else to do. You see, he has this idea that the dog is some sort of actual human being and -let’s be honest- was already secretly concerned that the girl who once ran out of Science Diet and instead supplied the dog with an “All the Gravy Bones You Can Eat” buffet for just a couple of days, really, was being left alone with his “child” for an extended period of time. He promptly got on the internet to Google an answer to this problem. The battery problem, that is. I don’t think there’s a Google entry for “inadequate animal caregiver.”

He comes up with the following: give her milk to neutralize in case she did a chomp-n-swallow and get her an x-ray. Stat.

“Whatever you think is best,” I say – only it comes out, “Do you KNOW how much that will cost?”

The puppy friend and I drive to the Emergency Vet in the Wild West of road conditions. (All lanes were covered with ice, which was covered with snow. Seriously, you couldn’t have waited until daylight to swallow this battery, Iris?) We get put into a waiting room. As we wait, I get on my phone to discover just how much of the internet the Envy2 is capable of letting me see. (Not much.) Iris does the following:

"I must sniff every square inch of this new place."

"I must sniff every square inch of this new place."

"Okay, done. Let's ditch this popsicle stand."

"Okay, done. Let's ditch this popsicle stand."

The vet does an x-ray.

“Good news,” she says.

Folks, there was no battery.

Thank God. I mean, really, thank God.

But, come on!

Moral of the Story:

(This is a fable)

If you are looking for something really expensive that you can love, perhaps you should consider a child instead. And watch that child like a hawk.

At the intersection of Cute and Pathetic


is you and your boyfriend renting the same movie and watching it “together.”

When you’re in two different cities.

We’ve come full circle.

Do you see a theme?


This year, I hate Year-End-Reviews. Because if I did one for myself, it might look like this:

2008: The Year of the Almosts

January: The Boyfriend Who Shall Remain Nameless (TBWSRN – long and annoying, no?) begins Elusive Job Hunt- all interviews are out of town.

(And before you get all- it’s just your boyfriend, don’t you have a life, blahblahblahhhhh… YES. I have a very good life, actually. Thank you for asking. BUT when you’ve been together so long you’re practically married and literally EVERY job interview was out of town, YES. My year did kind of sort of revolve around his job search. You spend your year going… are we? aren’t we? And this is meant to be a bitter list. So, bitter it tiz.)

February: TBWSRN has a heavy moot court month – competitions out of town

March: TBWSRN and I plan a trip to London. Which he has to miss because of unanticipated job interview.

April: Um, think he’s in town.

Beginning of May: TBWSRN interviews for more jobs. And gets one! Oh yay!

End of May: Another, better job offer! Takes it!

June: The “better” job (with the G-O-V-T) is moved to a new department. Has to re-interview. Gets it!

Beginning of July: The entire department is cut. No job. Seriously.

Mid-July: People feel bad for him (as they – ahem – should) and help him find a new job. We’re moving and it’s settled. Yaaay.

End of July: New job -fun surprise!- wants him to stay in Minneapolis for first six months. Not moving anymore. At least not for awhile.

August: Month spent in godforsaken hotbox that is apartment that was meant to be temporary because …we’re moving, right?

September: TBWSRN gets an AWESOME opportunity to work with an AWESOME “someone’s” campaign. Does it. Obvs.

October: TBWSRN is still campaigning. Doesn’t make it home.

November: TBWSRN takes a job offer from said AWESOME “someone.” Angels come down from heaven and shake my hand. I Hyperventilate. Break out in metaphorical hives. Annnnnd- he gets to come home for Thanksgiving! Wee! Head spins like the chick in the Exorcism.

December: Able to calm down. The Boy is still working between Chicago and DC. So, no holiday visits. Temporary Sadness.

SO – good year, no? Well, if you want to get all technical on me, there were some incredible parts. My wish for 2009, though, is for a little freakin’ stability.

So let’s get to the many good, incredible things that happened in 2008 that had nothing whatsoever to do with a male, like:

  • my principal having mercy on me and giving me my job back
  • friend’s wedding
  • a trip to fabulous Las Vegas with Bean to visit Amanda (the PCD, remember)
  • getting incredibly acquainted with the girls from SATC during my alone time (that sounds dirty, but isn’t) (but would almost be sort of cool if it was?)
  • experiencing London with Kirsten
  • Rachel’s health getting better and better every single stinkin’ day! Take that, TBI! Take that desensitized and overworked doctors! Lesson learned: you NEVER give up on people.
  • adopting a little doggy friend, Iris
  • going to DC for .5 seconds, walking around all independent-like
  • meeting up with TBWSRN romantic-comedy style in New York City. It’s about the city, not the male.
  • training for and running my very first half marathon
  • OBAAAAMAAAA (okay, this one has to do with a male)
  • encountering Netflix and making it my new boyfriend (not technically a male)

Though it’s been a rough-and-tumble kinda year, it could absolutely be worse. I can still say I’m genuinely happy. AND healthy. I even overcame my fear of the dentist this year. We’ll save that story for another time.

For these, I can be grateful.

Sidenote: I figure that, for those of you who don’t know me personally¬† and who don’t *get* to hear the day-to-day details of the litany above, I should clarify that the bitterness is directed towards Lady Luck – who I will not adjectify because it wouldn’t be ladylike – and not toward TBWSRN, who has been thoughtfully maintaining our relationship through all of the crap.

It’s 2 am and I’m awake.


Fun Facts

1. I just watched The Namesake. It was alright. “Aight”

2. You know what is good, though? Weeds. Totally flew through two seasons on Netflix.

3. I have absolutely been sleeping on the couch ever since break started. I’m depressed that TBWSRN is still out of town working. The bed feels a little too yes-he’s-really-gone-over-the-holidays. Don’t feel bad. It’ll be alright. “Aight” We’re rollin’ with it.

4. As a result of the aforementioned, my dog got confused and marched her little self right into the bedroom and piddled on the bed the other day.

5. Which is another reason I’m still sleeping on the couch.

6. And it still doesn’t make total sense because it’s not like she piddles on the couch. Get your head straight, dog.

7. I have to start getting my bad self together for the spelling bee. Ugh.

8. You know, there is a Drunken Spelling Bee at a bar in Minneapolis each January. Takers?

9. The candidate for RNC chair sent around a racist e-mail about my hero (Barack Obama) and called it “political satire.” Whaaa? No, I don’t think so. Nobody puts Barack in a corner.

10. I am going to go to Macy’s tomorrow and use a gift certificate to purchase a new pair of black shoes.

Okay, I finally feel the sleep coming on. Thanks, folks.

i carry your heart


i carry your heart with me(i carry

it in my heart) i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go my dear; and whatever is done

by me only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear

no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet) i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

-ee cummings

The Sound of Silence in 106


Since I moved into the newest of my new places (I’ve been quite transient lately – another story, for another time), I have been without television. It wasn’t my plan- I just never ordered cable and my late-90’s TV set requires an antenna to pick up any stations at all. It’s an accidental case of smug “I don’t watch TV” elitism. Pure laziness, really.


I’m not about to go around claiming that I suddenly don’t love TV. I definitely do – I can keep up on 30 Rock, The Office, and Ugly Betty online and The Huffington Post often shows the best clips from the most recent Saturday Night Live so I can skip the non-funny business.

It’s just that the extra 100 bucks a month (I steal my internet too and am not the least bit ashamed because I think it should be a public service – again, another story, for another time) have been helping my wardrobe TREMENDOUSLY.

And – okay – I feel just a smidge smuggish. Let me have that.

Anyway, as I was sitting here breaking in my new chair, drinking a glass of wine, and casually browsing the internet, I realized how accustomed I’ve grown to…quiet.

TBWSRN has been out of town most the time since early September, so there’s that. I used to just put Sex and the City episodes on so the witty banter and sexual innuendos of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda could subconsciously pervade my thoughts. Perhaps I can become them through osmosis? Or I’d listen to NPR’s Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me so I could feel intelligent. And, you know, just to have some noise.

But now, the clicking of my keyboard seems to be sufficient. At least tonight, anyway.

Ask me again in March. I’ll be contemplating whether I’m high enough up from the ground to be successful should I choose to spring free and jump from my balcony.

I’m not. Just checked.

Happy Thanksgiving


Okay, so though I am thankful for the typical slew of good stuff in my life (fam, friends: that one goes out to you!), I am going to dedicate this entire post to being thankful that TBWSRN is back home. Due to the hectic campaign schedule, until very recently the last time I had seen him was that dreamy trip to NYC I told you all about back in October.

Barack owes me a couple of months family time. TBWSRN is the alfredo to my fettucini and, more appropriately, the microwave to my Meatballs & Mozzarella Hot Pocket.


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