Archive for the ‘they call me teacher’ Category

It’s 2 am and I’m awake.

27.December.2008

Fun Facts

1. I just watched The Namesake. It was alright. “Aight”

2. You know what is good, though? Weeds. Totally flew through two seasons on Netflix.

3. I have absolutely been sleeping on the couch ever since break started. I’m depressed that TBWSRN is still out of town working. The bed feels a little too yes-he’s-really-gone-over-the-holidays. Don’t feel bad. It’ll be alright. “Aight” We’re rollin’ with it.

4. As a result of the aforementioned, my dog got confused and marched her little self right into the bedroom and piddled on the bed the other day.

5. Which is another reason I’m still sleeping on the couch.

6. And it still doesn’t make total sense because it’s not like she piddles on the couch. Get your head straight, dog.

7. I have to start getting my bad self together for the spelling bee. Ugh.

8. You know, there is a Drunken Spelling Bee at a bar in Minneapolis each January. Takers?

9. The candidate for RNC chair sent around a racist e-mail about my hero (Barack Obama) and called it “political satire.” Whaaa? No, I don’t think so. Nobody puts Barack in a corner.

10. I am going to go to Macy’s tomorrow and use a gift certificate to purchase a new pair of black shoes.

Okay, I finally feel the sleep coming on. Thanks, folks.

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If a Teacher Produced and Hosted Meet the Press

22.December.2008

All guests would have to be SEAT TO SEAT at 9 am. Though – for the record – I have yet to see any guest dash toward his or her seat as the fiddle-tastic, all frantic-like music sounds. Imagine David Gregory admonishing Erin Burnett with a firm, “That’s your second.”

It would be agenda-ized. Instead of the Meet the Press logo in the background, the agenda (which, they do sort of give verbally at the beginning) would be displayed prominently – with royal blue cut-out letters in D’Nealian font – and perhaps even referred to throughout the hour. Just so everyone can stay on task.

We’d start out with “Two Truths and a Lie” to get us into our comfort zones. Take recent guest Condi Rice, for example. Which one is the lie?

“I am the first black woman to hold my current position.”

“I am an accomplished pianist.”

“There were WMDs in Iraq.”

Then everyone at the table would giggle a little. See? Ice breaker.

Whining? Save the drama for your mama.* You want to complain about Rick Warren? About how you’re SO disappointed in Obama’s centrist cabinet picks?  I have a uniform and consistent answer for y’all: “Why don’t you have a seat in the hall and cool down?” It works – I swear.

Guests would be have to lay down a “Talking Chip” to speak. Can you imagine some of these guys running out of chips and not being able to talk? They’d get all squirmy trying to keep their big brains in check. Hilarity. Maybe we could throw in a little “Think, Pair, Share” to keep them engaged.

What a fluffy world I live in.

*Phrase stolen directly from Ann. Though I do steal it often. 🙂