Archive for the ‘whyyougottabelikedat?’ Category

Chunks in My Milk

1.February.2009

I have a thing about expiration dates.

I bought yogurt last Saturday.

Today, I threw it out.

Why? Well, while giving breakfast the old college try this morning, the yogurt sort of… tasted funny. I can’t put my finger on what it was exactly.

Au revoir, mes Yoplait amis.

I blame this entire neurosis on my sweet Grandma Julie. She never really had much and so what she did have – food – she kept around. Past expiration. Always the mother hen, she’d offer me food from the second I walked in the door to the second I left. It didn’t matter how much I tried to turn the poor woman down (“It’s okay, grandma. We ALREADY ate dinner.”) she’d keep asking.

Of course, I’d give in eventually. Who can say no to grandma? Most of the time, I’d be treated to a fudgsicle – totally safe.

Once, I ventured in the Iffy Zone -the refrigerator- and we can refer to that as mistake #1.

While adding the milk (mistake #2) to a bowl of just-poured cereal, the milk did not flow.

It plopped.

Horrifying.

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And now you understand my problem with perishables.

Well, friends, that’s all the time we have today for “Shrink Your Brain” with Sarah. Join us next time when we analyze her Catholic guilt!

What Was Left Out

23.January.2009

From a CNN article:

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Upon hearing of his wife’s initial openness to this idea, John McCain shit his pants.

“First Sarah Palin, now this?”

George W. Bush is a George W. Bush Lover

5.January.2009

There’s been a bit of a buzz sounding with an article in the WSJ entitled “Bush is a Book Lover.” I know, I had to try to stifle the laughter, too.

(Just kidding, why try?)

Anyway, I’ve been rolling my eyes in a literal sense and then I realized that -hey- isn’t a blog just one big figurative eye-roll? So, I come today bearing my haughty opinions.

My initial problem with the article is that I believe it’s complete bullshit. First of all, let’s look at the source. Karl Rove wrote the editorial. Um, kids? Have we forgotten who Karl Rove is? The man literally has no soul OR credibility. Of course he’s going to make small and meaningless last-ditch attempts to bolster the President’s image/legacy (and thus improve his own) as they head out of office. I DO recognize that my liberal bias IS having an effect on my perception on this point.

Okay, so let’s pretend that Leader of the Free World was actually reading several hours a day. While using “words” like “misunderestimate.” Sure. Fine.

Take a closer look at his book list. It gives a clear picture of the attitude problem of the entire administration. Nearly every book listed was basically an affirmation of the views Bush already holds. All literary pats-on-the-back: Why, yes, George. You are doing the right thing. Shouldn’t the President be an active thinker, always seeking a wider breadth of knowledge and different viewpoints?

I’m sorry. I just think that what people read says a lot about them. Reading is entertainment, absolutely, and who I am to call your book choice unacceptable? But shouldn’t we also be seeking to understand a little deeper, to expand our worldview to include different perspectives, to begin to unpeel the layers of this complex world?¬† I mean, isn’t that why books are so powerful and important?

I’m not trying to get all holier-than-thou on y’all. I DO think the goal of a book a week is incredibly admirable. I just wonder why you would spend such valuable time on things that don’t stretch you in some way. While I’m not claiming to be a consistent reader of mind-blowing literature – I do feel an obligation to keep up on adolescent lit because of my job, for example – I’m also not the President. Nor would you want me to be.

Near the end of the article, Rove states: “There is a myth perpetuated by Bush critics that he would rather burn a book than read one. Like so many caricatures of the past eight years, this one is not only wrong, but also the opposite of the truth and evidence that bitterness can devour a small-minded critic.”

Maybe it is bitterness that made me feel compelled to put my complaint in writing. I am just hoping for so much more with those who will govern us in the future.

Do you see a theme?

31.December.2008

This year, I hate Year-End-Reviews. Because if I did one for myself, it might look like this:

2008: The Year of the Almosts

January: The Boyfriend Who Shall Remain Nameless (TBWSRN – long and annoying, no?) begins Elusive Job Hunt- all interviews are out of town.

(And before you get all- it’s just your boyfriend, don’t you have a life, blahblahblahhhhh… YES. I have a very good life, actually. Thank you for asking. BUT when you’ve been together so long you’re practically married and literally EVERY job interview was out of town, YES. My year did kind of sort of revolve around his job search. You spend your year going… are we? aren’t we? And this is meant to be a bitter list. So, bitter it tiz.)

February: TBWSRN has a heavy moot court month – competitions out of town

March: TBWSRN and I plan a trip to London. Which he has to miss because of unanticipated job interview.

April: Um, think he’s in town.

Beginning of May: TBWSRN interviews for more jobs. And gets one! Oh yay!

End of May: Another, better job offer! Takes it!

June: The “better” job (with the G-O-V-T) is moved to a new department. Has to re-interview. Gets it!

Beginning of July: The entire department is cut. No job. Seriously.

Mid-July: People feel bad for him (as they – ahem – should) and help him find a new job. We’re moving and it’s settled. Yaaay.

End of July: New job -fun surprise!- wants him to stay in Minneapolis for first six months. Not moving anymore. At least not for awhile.

August: Month spent in godforsaken hotbox that is apartment that was meant to be temporary because …we’re moving, right?

September: TBWSRN gets an AWESOME opportunity to work with an AWESOME “someone’s” campaign. Does it. Obvs.

October: TBWSRN is still campaigning. Doesn’t make it home.

November: TBWSRN takes a job offer from said AWESOME “someone.” Angels come down from heaven and shake my hand. I Hyperventilate. Break out in metaphorical hives. Annnnnd- he gets to come home for Thanksgiving! Wee! Head spins like the chick in the Exorcism.

December: Able to calm down. The Boy is still working between Chicago and DC. So, no holiday visits. Temporary Sadness.

SO – good year, no? Well, if you want to get all technical on me, there were some incredible parts. My wish for 2009, though, is for a little freakin’ stability.

So let’s get to the many good, incredible things that happened in 2008 that had nothing whatsoever to do with a male, like:

  • my principal having mercy on me and giving me my job back
  • friend’s wedding
  • a trip to fabulous Las Vegas with Bean to visit Amanda (the PCD, remember)
  • getting incredibly acquainted with the girls from SATC during my alone time (that sounds dirty, but isn’t) (but would almost be sort of cool if it was?)
  • experiencing London with Kirsten
  • Rachel’s health getting better and better every single stinkin’ day! Take that, TBI! Take that desensitized and overworked doctors! Lesson learned: you NEVER give up on people.
  • adopting a little doggy friend, Iris
  • going to DC for .5 seconds, walking around all independent-like
  • meeting up with TBWSRN romantic-comedy style in New York City. It’s about the city, not the male.
  • training for and running my very first half marathon
  • OBAAAAMAAAA (okay, this one has to do with a male)
  • encountering Netflix and making it my new boyfriend (not technically a male)

Though it’s been a rough-and-tumble kinda year, it could absolutely be worse. I can still say I’m genuinely happy. AND healthy. I even overcame my fear of the dentist this year. We’ll save that story for another time.

For these, I can be grateful.

Sidenote: I figure that, for those of you who don’t know me personally¬† and who don’t *get* to hear the day-to-day details of the litany above, I should clarify that the bitterness is directed towards Lady Luck – who I will not adjectify because it wouldn’t be ladylike – and not toward TBWSRN, who has been thoughtfully maintaining our relationship through all of the crap.

Franken and Coleman Vs. The Lizard People

24.November.2008

MPR’s recount coverage includes a Challenged Ballots: You Be The Judge feature in which you get to play Election Judge (Just like when you were a kid! Or not…) and tell how you would rule on several challenged ballots.

Personal fave:

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When it comes to this race, the Lizard People might not be a bad alternative.

I was so confused.

21.November.2008

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I had to read the article to figure out that the first three words of this headline actually make up the name of a person. I thought maybe it was a new expression or something. As in “BronxMowgliWentz! There’s a sale at the Gap!”

Due to the the Mowgli, this is the best celebrity baby name yet. Better than Apple. I really believe that.

Real post next.

Memories

10.November.2008

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The Telegraph has bid George Bush goodbye.

**Reposted from Princess Sparkle Pony. Just HAD to make sure you saw it.

le sigh

9.November.2008

Can I just say that I HATE these generic WordPress templates?

Okay, so I’m trying to do something about it by editing the CSS. I look up CSS-friendly templates and click on “Edit CSS” and insert ’em in. (That’s what she said.) The template never looks even CLOSE to the same though.

I know I’m doing something horribly, terribly wrong. Helpers?

How MUCH are you enjoying this?

7.November.2008

Because I know you are.

Seeing how we had to DEAL with the fact that this person was in a spot to become to potential leader of the free world, I think we’re entitled to some shameless, perverse, distasteful enjoyment at the unveiling of what we just KNEW had to happening behind the scenes.

I offer you… my (admittedly rough) collage…

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What do old presidents do when they’re done being president?

3.November.2008

(Asks one of my students)

THEY DIE.

(Said in unison, in a “duh” tone of voice, from a group of students in the back)

It would be cuter if they were 1st graders.

But they’re not.